My Country

 My Country is big and sprawling and often doesn't pick up after itself.

My country is loud, full of itself, banging drums in the middle of the night and shooting cans off a fence post way too close to the house.

My country boasts, incessantly. My country struts. My country can be like the guy at the bar bragging about his glory days on the high school football team, or how twenty years ago he punched somebody in the eye for getting smart with him. Many times, my country thinks it's better than it really is.

My country is diverse and therefore resistant to generalization. Just as soon as you say my country is this or that, my country proves itself the opposite. My country is skewed, cock-eyed, predictably unpredictable.

My country walks with a limp.

My country hates what it also loves, loves what it also hates. My country can't make up its damn mind.

My country is always dividing up, choosing sides, in an endless tug-of-war. Every four years one side gets pulled into the mud and the other side exults and announces prematurely that there will be no more tug-of-wars forever!

That's because my country exaggerates. My country over-states. My country misconstrues. For my country, truth is malleable and must be hammered into a useful shape, otherwise who needs it?

My country's story is always a fish-story. My country is a legend in its own mind.

My country sings out of tune and always has. My country has no rhythm. 

Experts with advanced degrees are always trying to change my country. Maybe they hate what it is. Hate that they weren't invited to the fireworks shenanigans in the neighbor's back yard, so they try to ban fireworks everywhere.

That's my country for you. My country is two old friends who've had a lifelong testy relationship. Every conversation seems to wind up an argument. Each one finally declares, "You're nothing to me," but in a week or two they're having a beer together in the driveway, talking about the weather, telling each other lies.

Pundits and professors would like to boil my country down to an easy formula, but my country defies boiling down, resists hemming in, will not go gently into anyone's well-laid plan.

As long as my country bristles at authority, as long as it remains cantankerous and nervy and uncooperative with power, I will not fear for my country. 

My country is what it is, and I am bound to it no matter what. 

It's the only country I have.